Jurnal 28: A Sweet Gbye

It’s so sad how things ended up easily, how we gave up so easily. Yes, people are people and sometimes we change our minds. I still think about you and it’s killing me to see you go after all this time but i’ll take some time. I’ll be okay. I just gotta accept everything.

Since we ended, I have this thought in my head that maybe, at this kind of age. Everything is just really temporary especially when it comes to relationships. It’s funny how I just thought about that now lol but hey we're still young.

You’re very kind and loveable, best partner I ever had so far. But then I realized that maybe, we aren't made for each other. I'm slowly accepting things that we are just so fuggin immature and that maybe that’s why we had this relationship in the first place because we have to learn something. I keep telling myself to don’t cry and stop worrying things and start to focus for a better tomorrow. Whatever happens to the next I’ll always have you in my prayers. Hope you find someone so much better than me. Thank you for everything, d.

Jurnal 27: Best Relationship

To be honest i wasn’t looking for anything at all when i met you. Actually, i wasn’t planning on falling for anyone so soon. But then i met you. And that was it.. i guess things just happened. I found you, and i found myself slowly wanting to spend time with you.

It was simple.

It was easy.

And i think that’s how the best relationships begin.

You’re not looking for anything and suddenly you realize you have something.

Jurnal 26: Feelin Grateful

You put me back together again when i was broken. You saved me. Thank you, Dega. Loving you was the best decision my heart ever made. You're the best and i couldn't ask for more. I've never met anyone like you. You are the same like me when it comes to loyalty, i don't meet many people like that, people you can trust completely (you know how bad and cruel people nowadays in our generation). I will never understand how someone amazing and sweet and funny and smart as you could ever fall for someone like me, but I got lucky somehow. I'll never forget that either, that you're too good for me, there will never be one single day i take you for granted. You're too perfect. I love you, Dega. I love you more and more everyday. I don't have to worry about you falling out of love with me or if you're seeing someone else, cause i can read it in what you say and see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice that you love me like i love you and i can't even express how incredibly lucky and thankful i am to have you in my life. ♥️

Jurnal 25: 30 Little Things I Love the Most About You

1. You are loyal and never flirt with other girls. (I always know everything. Don’t macem-macem😏)
2. You speak to me gently and never use rude words. You always respect me.
3. You never hide something from me. I always know everything. You’re the most honest man i know.
4. You like to eat and know my comfort food and the best time to get me some. Oh, and you don’t mind to eat the food i have no room for. :p
5. You have a good memory. You remember the little things: every detail of our first date, everything i said, everything i did, the movies we watched together. You remember absolutely everything.
6. You are such a loving man, especially when it comes to family. Your relationship with them is so good, it makes me love your whole family even more.
7. You are generous. You like to give large tips and spend your money for others not because you have fat wallet to show off, but because you’re just a genuinely good man.
8. When i’m having a bad hair day, you still think i’m beautiful even when i think i look like an abandoned doll in a horror movie. 🙄
9. You hate people who cheat! *hi five*
10. You think i’m pretty with makeup on, but think i’m prettier barefaced.
11. You have a great sense of humour and always make me laugh with your silly jokes.
12. You don’t mind me messing up your hair in public.
13. You never forget to send me random “i love you”s and “muaaach”s literally everyday. That little thing warms my chest & always makes me feel loved.
14. When you want to buy something, you always ask for my opinion cause i am that important to you.
15. The smell of your body drives me crazy.
16. You know how to cook well more than me. Sigh.
17. You do your job not for money, you love it as your passion.
18. You aren’t extravagant. You know your priority and have clear goals in life.
19. You proud to be my man and never be afraid to show it everyday.
20. You call me “wuffy” as if it’s my first name and i’m the only one in the world who owns it. 
21. You plan out your future with me like it’s the only thing you can ever be sure of.
22. You know i can be the most difficult person in the world but you still love me for it.
23. You don’t let go of my hand when you’re driving. My fav part is when you kiss my palm and smile to me.
24. You never fail to cheer me up in an instant whenever i’m upset. You always know the right things to say and do.
25. You always ask me how my day was.
26. We like to share our thoughts (sometimes we argue) about life, religion, history, and anything under the sun.
27. You never leave problem unresolved more than 24 hours. We’ll fight, but we fix it by talking to each other, by communicating, and that's amazing.
28. You keep your stuffs securely as much as you can. Everything is in place and organized. Not something i would expect from a guy.
29. You’re only selfish when it comes to me. You want me all to yourself, but i feel complete freedom knowing i’m all yours.
30. You bring so much happiness into my life since i met you and i have never wanted to make anyone as happy as i want to make you. ♥️

Jurnal 24

He said, "love you so much, babe." and i nearly told him that i loved him so much too, but that wasn't it. I love him more. Not more than he loves me, but more. More than the light, the night, and the stars that shine above us. More than i have ever loved anyone. More and more each passing day.

I love him so much.

I love him too much.

I love him more.

1:51 AM

Jurnal 23

Actually sleeping with you is so nice like waking up in the middle of the night and snuggling closer or lazily giving you a kiss or just feeling your arms around me squeeze slightly even tho you're in a deep sleep or hand holding while we both are asleep.. I love those things. Because that's the best type of intimacy, it's not always about sex.

Me suddenly missing you

12:06 pm

Langgur, Southeast Moluccas, Indonesia

Quote (9)

"You are very lucky if you have someone to whom you can tell about your bad behaviours without them thinking that you are a bad person, but because they know that what is inside you is purer and more beautiful."

- Nizar Qabbani

Jurnal 22

You make lists in your head about what you want in a lover, like brown hair and sweet voice. A sharp mind and a soft heart, a sense of humor that actually makes you laugh like you mean it. This and that.

And it's all bullshit.

Because people aren't lists. And I've always wanted to be the person who made someone realize that. I want to come across someone with a list in their head that is nothing like the person I am, and I want to show them what they didn't even know they were looking for. People who think they know what they want are fooling themselves.

Nobody really knows what they want.

Not until it's right in front of them.

Quote (8)

"I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was hurricane."

- John Green (Looking for Alaska, Harper Collins 2005)

Jurnal 21: Bae, 2015!

2015 was the best year of my whole life so far, after 2013 (teuteup). I got everything i want in this year.
Literally everything. :)